Engineers....BEST CHOICE!!

Today's lesson - Girls must be convinced, so learn to promote yourself - convince them that 'Engineers are the Best Boyfriends'. Let me tell you why girls should eventually marry an engineer over a Law, Management, Arts or Medical School Graduate. He has three distinct advantages over the rest of the graduates.

Advantage 1: Secure lifestyle
An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27 years old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job that gives him a high income to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life, and get married and buy a house too. Law graduates are still working as a lowly apprentice in a law firm, most management graduates have just failed on their first business plan, the arts graduate is still looking for a job, and the medical school graduate is still living in a hospital.

Advantage 2: Unmatchable industriousness
An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an unimaginable amount of his time and effort to understand you. Engineers strain really really hard to understand their work. You can believe that they will try really really hard to understand women too, just like how they understand their work, once they believe that you are the one. So even if they don't understand you initially, they will keep on trying. Even if they still do not understand, they will figure out the correct method to keep you happy (e.g. buy diamond ring = 1 week's worth of happiness.) And once they find out the secret formula, they will just keep on repeating it so that the desired results appear. Unlike the Lawyer who will argue with you, the Management graduate who will try to control your spending, the Arts graduate who will 'change major', and the medical school graduate who will operate on you. And you know what, it's really so easy to make engineers believe that you are the 'one'. Say that you like one of their projects and they will be hooked to you forever.

Advantage 3:
An engineer boyfriend will never betray your trust. Let me first tell you what is wrong with the rest of the others - the lawyers will lie about everything, management graduates will cheat your money, the arts graduate will flirt, and you probably just look like another cadaver to the medical school graduate. Your engineer boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair, and even if he does, he is too dumb to lie to you about that.

Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend that you will ever find - rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and please you, has no time for affairs, and too dumb to lie to you. So girls, why procrastinate? Get an engineer as your boyfriend!

(Note: Not my article, just another forwarded mail.)

Baby Care Instructions

Management Stories

Story # 1
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more."
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.


Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV.
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene : Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES

Story # 2
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd !"
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

Scene : As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

Moral: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT

45 lessons in life

Written ByRegina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over
to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1.Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2.When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3.Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4.Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends
and parents will. Stay in touch.

5 Pay off your credit cards every month.

6.You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7.Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8.It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9.Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10.When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12.It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13.Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15.Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry;
God never blinks.

16.Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17.Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18.Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one
is up to you and no one else.

20.When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no
for an answer.

21.Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22.Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23.Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24.The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26.Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years,
will this matter?'

27.Always choose life.

28.Forgive everyone everything.

29.What other people think of you is none of your business.

30.Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31.However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32.Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33.Believe in miracles.

34.God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you
did or didn't do.

35.Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36.Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37.Your children get only one childhood.

38.All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39.Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40.If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,
we'd grab ours back.

41.Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43.No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44.Yield.

45.Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.



Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.

10 ways to stay sane in your cubicle

1: Change it up

When your surroundings do not change, the best way to keep your cool is to change them yourself. A friend of mine has been in the same cube farm for nearly 10 years. During that time, she has made a point to randomly change the decorations in her cubicle. But she doesn’t just add a photo here and a knick-knack there. My chum is a serious Trekkie and makes a point to focus on one character (or race of characters) at a time. So one month will be Cardassian month and the next will be all about Dr. Bashir or Jean-Luc Picard. Not only has this helped her sanity, it has given her quite the reputation around the company and provided plenty to chat about.

2: Take breaklets

Most people work like this:

· Work four hours

· Take a lunch break

· Work four hours

This works for a while, but eventually it will catch up with you. Instead of sticking only to this schedule, you should mix it up. If your company allows it, split your break up into smaller breaks throughout the day. Or better yet, just randomly get up and take a stroll around the company. If you have to, grab a folder or a handful of papers and make like you’re heading for the printer. Just get up and get out of that cubicle throughout the day. Taking strolls around the company won’t just get you out of your cubicle; it will give you a bit of exercise you desperately need. If you’re feeling really daring, skip the elevator and hit the stairs!

3: Crank up the tunes

Music is the food of life. But you will be best served (as will your fellow employees) if you keep that music to yourself. Back when I had an office at TechRepublic, I was notorious for cranking up techno very loud. It didn’t dawn on me that maybe it would have been better if I’d left the volume at a respectable level. And that was with an office — not a cubicle. When you are working in a cubicle, your best bet is headphones. I also recommend that you don’t just bring in your favorite CDs and listen to them over and over. You might as well stare at the same gray-brown walls and listen to the voices developing in your head. Instead, point your PC to a nice Internet radio station. If you use Linux, you may want to open up Streamtuner, as I do, and take in a whole world of music.

4: Turn to Facebook/Youtube/Twitter

I know, it sounds horrible — but I am advocating the use of social networking sites at work. However, I suggest you use them with moderation. Do not plant yourself on Facebook and stay there at the expense of your work. Instead, give yourself social breaks between tasks. Complete a task, update your status. Reconfigure that router, tweet! Or create a social networking site for your fellow workers. With this in place, your social networking will be work related. If you can’t create the site yourself, propose this to your IT staff.

5: Move your office

I don’t mean literally. But if you use a laptop, take it away from your cubicle and move to the break room or a meeting room. Do this once a week or so, and you’ll find that cubicle not nearly as life-stealing. Just make sure you are not breaking any company policies by doing so. And if the weather is nice enough (and your signal strength will reach) take that laptop outside for an al fresco workday. Just remember to have a full battery or an outlet nearby.

6: Socialize

We’ve all done it before — worked in places where we just… couldn’t… stand… the… people… we… worked… with. You can’t get along with everyone, but there should be someone you can at least form some sort of social bond with. Find someone who shares similar interests (like Star Trek, Linux, or mountain biking) so you will at least have SOMETHING to talk about (other than complaining about how you hate your fellow workers).

7: Do an anonymous act of kindness every day

This is all about karma. Do something good for a coworker every day. It doesn’t have to be big. You could pick up someone’s print job for them and deliver it to their cubicle (see number 2) or clean up an area around the office. Just make sure the act is random and anonymous. The anonymity will give you a certain pleasure as you watch others trying to figure out who did the deed.

8: Play hooky

Remember how good it made you feel back in college to skip a day of class? That feeling can be enough to get you through until the next vacation day. Find a special event or just a perfect day outdoors and call in sick. Yes, it can backfire on you if your boss takes a break and catches you playing Frisbee golf in the park. But then, if your boss catches you in the park, what exactly is he doing there?

9: Employ the Les Nessman cubicle strategy

Who can forget Les Nessman, the award-winning news director from WKRP? One of his many quirks was his belief that a news director should have his own office. Well, he didn’t — so he made do. Les lay down masking tape on the floor to create the outline of the walls of his “office.” He even included a “door” that he mimed opening and closing every time he entered or exited. So what is keeping you from going “Les” on your cubicle? Tape down that fourth wall, include a door, and insist that people “knock” and use the “door” when they need to meet with you.

10: Have a sense of humor

Humor will get you through just about every situation — including cube life. Become a practical jokester, laugh at silly mistakes, let everyone see that you can take just about anything that life throws at you. But as you’re laughing it up and plotting the demise-by-joke of your next victim, always remember your company policies. Make sure your master plan does not go against any company rules, or the HR department will have the last laugh. Above all, have fun, enjoy your workday, and make it more pleasant for everyone around you.

What works for you?

These simple tips will get many people through the tedium of cube life. For others, however, it’s simply not enough. Do you have a tip for getting through the day, week, month, or year while confined to the three walls of hate? If so, share them with your fellow TechRepublic readers.