House Lizard

House Lizard, or whatever it is called, is a reptile commonly found in everyone's home down here in Malaysia as well as Singapore. Highly agile creatures, they crawl from wall to wall to feast on insects such as mosquitoes and flies. Try attacking them and they might leave a tail behind which will start jumping up and down, making you think as though the lizard has suddenly gone berserk while the real Lizard has actually escaped. Their pretty harmless although some people, especially the female gender, finds them rather disgusting or what we call "gerly". =P

In any case, here's a picture of what the house lizard looks like.



As a final piece of note, this is what someone does when he is super lame + Super bored.

The picture is a result of boredness on one fine weekend, while this blog post... is just me being lame. =P

The Colonoscopy

A joke shared by my colleague some time ago... Maybe come the weekends, I will share some pics and info from my recent trip to Perth!

For now, here's a joke abt the mgmt.... =P



All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
trying to decide who was the one in charge.

'I should be in charge,' said the brain,
'Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen.'


'I should be in charge,' said the blood ,
'because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away.'



'I should be in charge,' said the stomach ,
'because I process food and give all of you energy.'


'I should be in charge,' said the legs,
'because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.'


'I should be in charge,' said the eyes,
'Because I allow the body to see where it goes.'


'I should be in charge,' said the rectum,
'Because I'm responsible for waste removal.'


All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days,
the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated,
the legs got wobbly,
the eyes got watery,
and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
The ass hole is usually the one in charge!

Monsters.Com Bug???

Arh... Since its a public holiday today, I ended up staying at home, doing random stuffs and out of the blue chance about this Monster.Com bug which I could reproduce pretty often until after I recorded it! Now seems a bit hard to repro but I'll just show it for those who are bored and want to see a boring video of a boring bug. ^_^

Heres what to look out for:
1. Top of the page, look at the "Hi blar blar" section
2. Bottom of the video, there u can see its saying "Welcome back Joseph"

The funny thing is, when it got to someone else's page, when I click home, I go to their domain (eg Singapore, Philippines).

I suppose when I click Home and click back log in, it somehow detected the last guy that logged in to Monster.Com, rather than me. :)

Oh yar, I couldn't do the same thing on IE, only FireFix. Maybe Monster has issues with FireFox. =P

Malaysian Ah Long Vs The Police

Shared by my colleague Jonathan.

	THE COPS	THE AH LONGS
SLOGAN	"Mesra, Cepat & Betul"	"Mesra, Jika Cepat Bayar"
TEAM SIZE	89,197	3,403
HIGHEST RANK	IGP, Tan Sri	Tai Kor, Datuk
LOWEST RANK	Constable	Mah Chai
RANK ID	Pips On Uniform	Tattoos On Body
HOME GROUND	Bukit Aman	Bukit Bintang
FIREPOWER	Revolver, Semi Automatic	Meat Cleaver, Molotov Cocktail
STANDARD ISSUE	Hand Cuffs	Knuckle Duster
AFFLIATION	Interpol	Intertriad
SQUAD CAR	Proton Wira, Waja, Perodua Kancil	Proton Aeroback (With Extended Spoiler)
WANTED LIST	Displayed At Stations, Published In Papers	Displayed On Lamp Posts, Phone Booths
COMMUNICATION	Encrypted Wireless Network	Random Pre-Paid Cellphones
SPECIAL SKILLS	Surveillance, Investigation, Interception	Stake-Out, Ambush, Bone Re-Structuring
CROWD CONTROL	Water Cannon, Dog Unit	Fire Bomb, Killer Bees
BACK-UP	PVR, RELA	Car Repossessors, Club Bouncers
RECENT WIN	Stopped Siti Nurhaliza Hate Mails	Financed Euro 2004 Betting Activities
RECENT DEFEAT	Lost 1 Police Station To A Food Court	Missed 1 Food Court Financing Opportunity
RECRUITMENT	Via Mass Media	Via Friend Of A Friend Of A Friend
DISLIKES	ACA, Lawyers	MCA, Lawyers
FAV MOVIES	Police Story 1 - 5, Serpico	Jaws, Loan Shark, Mean Streets
FAV QUOTE	"Tengok Tengki?"	"Macam Mana Mau Settle?"
FAN CLUB	Rakan COP	Rakan TELCO

Know Your Customers

Something my colleague shared with me..

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained
"When I got posted in the Middle East , I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through three posters...


First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand...totally exhausted and fainting.
Second poster: The man is drinking our Cola.
Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed.
And Then these posters were pasted all over the place
"Then that should have worked!" said the friend.
"The hell it should have!? said the salesman. didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left"

Man Utd Signs Michael Owen

Arh.... Surprise surprise!

Owen goes to Man Utd. =P

My views? I love it.....
Okok, I know his nowadays more popular to be injured than scoring goals, and his less feared compared to his earlier days, but how good does it get to sign a proven goalscoring striker for FREE???

He may not be the regular like he used to during his Liverpool days and maybe he may not score as many goals as well, but his experience and skills will certainly still be good. What more, he is a 3rd striker anyway. If he produces the same impact as how Teddy Sheringham did during his MU days, thats good enough.

See the transfer market is closing soon and Fergie needs more time to scout for younger prospects rather than simply buying some and ending up like what happened with kleberson... Djemba-Djemba and co.... So bringing in Michael Owen for Free to buy himself a couple more years to find a good prospect is a good move. Furthermore, Owen may find himself performing better around a group of better players. Rather then getting disappointed about how he fails to see the ball often thanks to crappy passing from the Newcastle Midfielders, he only need to worry about how he can find the net now!

In addition, it also gives players like Welbeck and Macheda a chance to prove themselfs. I am particularly excited about Macheda's development! I'm sure he will be better then Guiseppe Rossi considering the impact he has made in the first team VS the one Rossi did last time.

Whats best, if Owen really does not perform, how much does Man Utd lose?? Just a few hundred thousand pounds to a few million at max? There's always the December transfer window... =P

So.. after signing Owen for free... we've still got a lot of transfer funds left... I wonder if a Keeper is coming in as well?? hmph....

I am excited to see how Fergie can bring back the life in Owen. I'm sure he hasn't lost his finishing touch!

Man Utd Signs Antonio Valencia

Finally Man Utd spends some of the available transfer funds. It's certainly great news that they splashed it on an established young prospect like Antonio Valencia. I for one believe that he will bring more benefits to the clubs and perhaps like what all the papers say, he may not be able to score as much as Ronaldo has but personally I'll say, with Valencia around to supply the balls, leave the goalscoring duties to Rooney and Berbatov!!!!

He may lose to Ronaldo on technical skills, dribbling and goal scoring prowess, he ain't far behind in terms of pace and speed! I do believe he has the ability to beat Ronaldo in terms of physical strength (Especially to stay standing rather than be on the ground...).

But apart from all the skills, pace, attitude and crossing abilities he brings, there is one more thing I like about him. He is a midfielder. A full 100% midfielder.

Whats so good about that you're asking? Well.. back when we had Ronaldo... sometimes he appears in Centre Forward, sometimes his a striker and Rooney have to play out wide! Now with Valencia, Rooney would certainly appear less often on the wing and more often in the central role where he is more dangerous. Furthermore, Valencia is more of a ball provider, rather then the show stealer. Hopefully with his unselfish playing style, we can see more goals coming from Berbatov and Rooney. I have confidence in this current Man Utd Squad, but I do hope to see at least another striker coming in, and rumours are saying there is a big money (More than 35 million pounds) bid for Benzema coming in.. is it from Man Utd?? Urgh... I've never seen Ferguson spending anything more than 40 mils.... So we'll see what goes but I hope to see a more versatile forward coming in, rather then a Ruud Van Nistelrooy type of striker. =)