This is a joke I first heard during the Church Camp when Victor mentioned about it. So I found it on youtube and decided just to share to everyone. Its funny. =P
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Man Utd's June Transfer Dealings
Those who know me knows that I'm an avid Man Utd Fan. I can't help but to comment about Man Utd's recent 2 high profile transfer dealings.
1.) Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro (80m to Real Madrid)
2.) Carlos Alberto Tevez (Rejected Man Utd's Contract)
I am DELIGHTED, yes, DELIGHTED, as in happy, glad, relieved that Ronaldo is gone from Man Utd.
Firstly, no offense to his skills. I admire his skills greatly, and I'm grateful for his contributions for Man Utd in the last 6 seasons. He scores lots of goals, great goals, important goals, easy goals, penalty kicks, set pieces, you name it, he does it. Do I hate his arrogance? No I don't.. because I feel great players have the right to be arrogant, remember Eric the King? True united legend.
So why am I happy that he has left Man Utd?
1.) He has recently loss his ability to play as a team. His true colours showed against Barcelona in the Champions League final. His selfish and individual play led to the disaster of the team play. Not to blame him alone but as the only man up front, we had poor posession of the ball in the final third. Instead of holding the ball and let midfielders like Rooney, Ji Sung and Anderson move up, he tried to tackle the entire Barcelona defense alone.
2.) His childish reactions. I cannot stand his childish reactions.... Acting like a kid whining after he drops his ice cream... Compare the maturity growth between Rooney and Ronaldo, you know where I'm getting at. Rooney is more adult and professional now, but Ronaldo's handling of failures and being substituted out is not the stuffs that comes from Legends....
3.) Greed. Same feeling goes when Beckham left for Real Madrid. Anybody following football well enough will know the Real Madrid is just a museum of great talents. Count the medals won by players such as Giggs, Scholes and Neville and we all know which football club to play for to win the most medals. It was obviously not about the medals, more about the $$$.
4.) I feel the 80m transfer funds earn by selling Ronaldo can help improve the overall balance of the whole team. We may have Anderson to replace Scholes, Rafael to replace Neville, but we have yet to find someone to replace Giggs and Hargreaves time will soon be up. No doubt we may have Berbatov and Rooney, but we need a goal scoring machine (Benzema?). Ferguson still needs to bolster the strike force with 1 "goal scoring machine' and 2 more wingers at the least. Personally, I don't like the idea of Rooney on the wing.. I prefer him up front (look at England's recent scorers...), so Ferguson should really look on getting a TRUE winger.... (Valencia?)
So on a final verdict on Ronaldo, I wonder how many more medals he can win with Real Madrid. I hope Real lose out the title to Barcelona... Just like how Messi showed that he has better overall qualities then Ronaldo...
On the Tevez affair. I'm not delighted that we didn't manage to capture him. But its not really like his that big of a loss compared to Ronaldo, so I'm not disappointed as well.
I have nothing against him. He is a hardworker and is somewhat like the Ji Sung type of player. But in my personal opinion, we don't really need hardworkers like Ji Sung in the striking department! 5 goals this season as a striker, with most of it coming in the league cup, how did he contribute to the EPL glory? Most modern day strikers will be considering him as a Goal-Shy striker...
With 18 starts and 11 Subs, compared to Rooney's (25/5) and Berbatov's (29/2), Tevez only managed 5 goals and 3 assists, compared to Rooney's (12/7) and Berbatov's (9/9). With such statistics, how then do you expect to be ahead of Rooney and Berbatov in the starting line up? Furthermore, giving the excuse that he hasn't played enough games is just totally a lame excuse. He wasn't really far off behind Rooney and Berbatov in terms of number of games played.
We have Rooney to work his socks off in the striking department, we don't need another one. Imagine if Rooney and Tevez goes after the same ball and wins them in midfied.. oh dear, where are the strikers!?
Cantona didn't need to be hardworking like Tevez to be a legendary goal scorer. We don't need another work horse like Rooney, Ji Sung, Carrick... what we need is a goal scorer. Unless Tevez wants to switch to midfield... just like Alan Smith did. But are you sure you want to spend 30Mils on a player that may end up the same story as Alan Smith? Not for me.....
And what would the ideal signing be for Man Utd?
To be honest, I dont' really watch Antonia Valencia and David Villa that much, but I'm a big fan of Benzema and Ribery. Ribery is over priced... but he will be a good buy for 30Mils. Benzema for 30 mils as well. I'm sure Ribery will bring out the best of Berbatov and Rooney. (Ronaldo was too selfish...). Benzema can add to the extra sting up front when we need 3 ahead.
As for backup's, I'm confident to stick with the likes of Darren Gibson, Federico Macheda and Welback. Oh yeah, Ritchie De Laet performed amazingly in MU's last match as well! And I've yet to see Tosic do anything grand! ARGH!!!!!
I'll wait patiently. I just hope Ferguson don't end up like his last signing spree after Beckham left.... Remember Djemba-Djemba... David Bellion... and what was the other guys name.... Kleberson? Urgh...... Together with Liam Miller and a few others... Those are the WORST signings I've ever seen from Ferguson. Lets hope there's none of that anymore and I'm very excited about Man Utd's Transfer activity for the next 2 months!
1.) Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro (80m to Real Madrid)
2.) Carlos Alberto Tevez (Rejected Man Utd's Contract)
I am DELIGHTED, yes, DELIGHTED, as in happy, glad, relieved that Ronaldo is gone from Man Utd.
Firstly, no offense to his skills. I admire his skills greatly, and I'm grateful for his contributions for Man Utd in the last 6 seasons. He scores lots of goals, great goals, important goals, easy goals, penalty kicks, set pieces, you name it, he does it. Do I hate his arrogance? No I don't.. because I feel great players have the right to be arrogant, remember Eric the King? True united legend.
So why am I happy that he has left Man Utd?
1.) He has recently loss his ability to play as a team. His true colours showed against Barcelona in the Champions League final. His selfish and individual play led to the disaster of the team play. Not to blame him alone but as the only man up front, we had poor posession of the ball in the final third. Instead of holding the ball and let midfielders like Rooney, Ji Sung and Anderson move up, he tried to tackle the entire Barcelona defense alone.
2.) His childish reactions. I cannot stand his childish reactions.... Acting like a kid whining after he drops his ice cream... Compare the maturity growth between Rooney and Ronaldo, you know where I'm getting at. Rooney is more adult and professional now, but Ronaldo's handling of failures and being substituted out is not the stuffs that comes from Legends....
3.) Greed. Same feeling goes when Beckham left for Real Madrid. Anybody following football well enough will know the Real Madrid is just a museum of great talents. Count the medals won by players such as Giggs, Scholes and Neville and we all know which football club to play for to win the most medals. It was obviously not about the medals, more about the $$$.
4.) I feel the 80m transfer funds earn by selling Ronaldo can help improve the overall balance of the whole team. We may have Anderson to replace Scholes, Rafael to replace Neville, but we have yet to find someone to replace Giggs and Hargreaves time will soon be up. No doubt we may have Berbatov and Rooney, but we need a goal scoring machine (Benzema?). Ferguson still needs to bolster the strike force with 1 "goal scoring machine' and 2 more wingers at the least. Personally, I don't like the idea of Rooney on the wing.. I prefer him up front (look at England's recent scorers...), so Ferguson should really look on getting a TRUE winger.... (Valencia?)
So on a final verdict on Ronaldo, I wonder how many more medals he can win with Real Madrid. I hope Real lose out the title to Barcelona... Just like how Messi showed that he has better overall qualities then Ronaldo...
On the Tevez affair. I'm not delighted that we didn't manage to capture him. But its not really like his that big of a loss compared to Ronaldo, so I'm not disappointed as well.
I have nothing against him. He is a hardworker and is somewhat like the Ji Sung type of player. But in my personal opinion, we don't really need hardworkers like Ji Sung in the striking department! 5 goals this season as a striker, with most of it coming in the league cup, how did he contribute to the EPL glory? Most modern day strikers will be considering him as a Goal-Shy striker...
With 18 starts and 11 Subs, compared to Rooney's (25/5) and Berbatov's (29/2), Tevez only managed 5 goals and 3 assists, compared to Rooney's (12/7) and Berbatov's (9/9). With such statistics, how then do you expect to be ahead of Rooney and Berbatov in the starting line up? Furthermore, giving the excuse that he hasn't played enough games is just totally a lame excuse. He wasn't really far off behind Rooney and Berbatov in terms of number of games played.
We have Rooney to work his socks off in the striking department, we don't need another one. Imagine if Rooney and Tevez goes after the same ball and wins them in midfied.. oh dear, where are the strikers!?
Cantona didn't need to be hardworking like Tevez to be a legendary goal scorer. We don't need another work horse like Rooney, Ji Sung, Carrick... what we need is a goal scorer. Unless Tevez wants to switch to midfield... just like Alan Smith did. But are you sure you want to spend 30Mils on a player that may end up the same story as Alan Smith? Not for me.....
And what would the ideal signing be for Man Utd?
To be honest, I dont' really watch Antonia Valencia and David Villa that much, but I'm a big fan of Benzema and Ribery. Ribery is over priced... but he will be a good buy for 30Mils. Benzema for 30 mils as well. I'm sure Ribery will bring out the best of Berbatov and Rooney. (Ronaldo was too selfish...). Benzema can add to the extra sting up front when we need 3 ahead.
As for backup's, I'm confident to stick with the likes of Darren Gibson, Federico Macheda and Welback. Oh yeah, Ritchie De Laet performed amazingly in MU's last match as well! And I've yet to see Tosic do anything grand! ARGH!!!!!
I'll wait patiently. I just hope Ferguson don't end up like his last signing spree after Beckham left.... Remember Djemba-Djemba... David Bellion... and what was the other guys name.... Kleberson? Urgh...... Together with Liam Miller and a few others... Those are the WORST signings I've ever seen from Ferguson. Lets hope there's none of that anymore and I'm very excited about Man Utd's Transfer activity for the next 2 months!
Friday, June 19, 2009
Mozart Beyond The Grave
Just a joke I saw somewhere... =)
When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.
Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."
When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.
Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Diapers Stuck on Car
Had an interesting find in a carpark in KL yesterday. See this....
Wonder why would anyone stick diapers to the side of their car! It looks like either intentional or a prank to me, hahah! =)
Wonder why would anyone stick diapers to the side of their car! It looks like either intentional or a prank to me, hahah! =)
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Working for HP - Joke
This is a joke forwarded to my from my colleague Evangel. Quite funny, LOL! =P
Saturday, May 23, 2009
HR Officers And Engineers
Just sharing a joke I receive from my ex-intern. =)
Stories on HR VS Engineers.
The First …
Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope. There were ten HR people and one engineer.
Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.
They could not decide who should be the volunteer. Finally the engineer said he would let go of the rope since engineers are used to do everything for the company. They forsake their family, don’t claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.
When he finished his moving speech all the HR people began to clap…
Moral:
Never underestimate the powers of the engineer.
The Second …
A group of engineers and a group of HR people take a train to a conference. Each HR person holds a ticket. But the entire group of engineers has bought only one ticket for a single passenger. The HR people are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant engineers will finally get what they deserve.
Suddenly one of the engineers calls out: “The conductor is coming!”. At once, all the engineers jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the HR people. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the engineers slides the single ticket under the doors and the conductor continues merrily on his round.
For the return trip the HR people decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the engineers didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the engineers announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the HR people race to a toilet and lock themselves in.
All the engineers leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last engineer enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the HR people and says: “Ticket, please!”
And the moral of the story?
HR people like to use the methods of the engineers, but they don’t really understand them.
The Third …
Once upon a time three HR people were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. But they desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first HR guy knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river! "
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times.
BUT… he was successful!
The second HR guy, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.
BUT… he was successful!
The third HR man who observed all this kneeled down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord converted the HR man into an engineer. He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.
Moral?
You have to be an engineer to think intelligent, Otherwise…
GOD HELP YOU !
Stories on HR VS Engineers.
The First …
Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope. There were ten HR people and one engineer.
Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.
They could not decide who should be the volunteer. Finally the engineer said he would let go of the rope since engineers are used to do everything for the company. They forsake their family, don’t claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.
When he finished his moving speech all the HR people began to clap…
Moral:
Never underestimate the powers of the engineer.
The Second …
A group of engineers and a group of HR people take a train to a conference. Each HR person holds a ticket. But the entire group of engineers has bought only one ticket for a single passenger. The HR people are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant engineers will finally get what they deserve.
Suddenly one of the engineers calls out: “The conductor is coming!”. At once, all the engineers jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the HR people. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the engineers slides the single ticket under the doors and the conductor continues merrily on his round.
For the return trip the HR people decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the engineers didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the engineers announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the HR people race to a toilet and lock themselves in.
All the engineers leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last engineer enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the HR people and says: “Ticket, please!”
And the moral of the story?
HR people like to use the methods of the engineers, but they don’t really understand them.
The Third …
Once upon a time three HR people were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. But they desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first HR guy knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river! "
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times.
BUT… he was successful!
The second HR guy, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.
BUT… he was successful!
The third HR man who observed all this kneeled down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord converted the HR man into an engineer. He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.
Moral?
You have to be an engineer to think intelligent, Otherwise…
GOD HELP YOU !
Monday, May 11, 2009
Miscommunication
This is a joke I receive quite a number of times before, but since Ganesh sent it to me, might as well just share it. =)
Memo from CEO to Manager :
Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employess to view the eclipse in the parking lot. Staff should meet in the lot at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety googles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head :
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will appear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with googles. The CEO will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some information. This is something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager
The CEO will today deliver a short speech to make the s un disappear for two minutes in the form of an eclipse. This is something that cannot be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo from Floor Manager to Supervisor
Ten to eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the CEO will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, and as usual it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staff
Some staff will go to car park today to see the CEO disappear. It is a pity this doesnt happen everyday
Memo from CEO to Manager :
Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employess to view the eclipse in the parking lot. Staff should meet in the lot at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety googles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head :
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will appear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with googles. The CEO will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some information. This is something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager
The CEO will today deliver a short speech to make the s un disappear for two minutes in the form of an eclipse. This is something that cannot be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo from Floor Manager to Supervisor
Ten to eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the CEO will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, and as usual it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staff
Some staff will go to car park today to see the CEO disappear. It is a pity this doesnt happen everyday
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