Wonder why would anyone stick diapers to the side of their car! It looks like either intentional or a prank to me, hahah! =)
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Diapers Stuck on Car
Had an interesting find in a carpark in KL yesterday. See this....
Wonder why would anyone stick diapers to the side of their car! It looks like either intentional or a prank to me, hahah! =)
Wonder why would anyone stick diapers to the side of their car! It looks like either intentional or a prank to me, hahah! =)
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Working for HP - Joke
This is a joke forwarded to my from my colleague Evangel. Quite funny, LOL! =P
Saturday, May 23, 2009
HR Officers And Engineers
Just sharing a joke I receive from my ex-intern. =)
Stories on HR VS Engineers.
The First …
Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope. There were ten HR people and one engineer.
Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.
They could not decide who should be the volunteer. Finally the engineer said he would let go of the rope since engineers are used to do everything for the company. They forsake their family, don’t claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.
When he finished his moving speech all the HR people began to clap…
Moral:
Never underestimate the powers of the engineer.
The Second …
A group of engineers and a group of HR people take a train to a conference. Each HR person holds a ticket. But the entire group of engineers has bought only one ticket for a single passenger. The HR people are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant engineers will finally get what they deserve.
Suddenly one of the engineers calls out: “The conductor is coming!”. At once, all the engineers jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the HR people. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the engineers slides the single ticket under the doors and the conductor continues merrily on his round.
For the return trip the HR people decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the engineers didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the engineers announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the HR people race to a toilet and lock themselves in.
All the engineers leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last engineer enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the HR people and says: “Ticket, please!”
And the moral of the story?
HR people like to use the methods of the engineers, but they don’t really understand them.
The Third …
Once upon a time three HR people were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. But they desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first HR guy knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river! "
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times.
BUT… he was successful!
The second HR guy, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.
BUT… he was successful!
The third HR man who observed all this kneeled down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord converted the HR man into an engineer. He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.
Moral?
You have to be an engineer to think intelligent, Otherwise…
GOD HELP YOU !
Stories on HR VS Engineers.
The First …
Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope. There were ten HR people and one engineer.
Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.
They could not decide who should be the volunteer. Finally the engineer said he would let go of the rope since engineers are used to do everything for the company. They forsake their family, don’t claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.
When he finished his moving speech all the HR people began to clap…
Moral:
Never underestimate the powers of the engineer.
The Second …
A group of engineers and a group of HR people take a train to a conference. Each HR person holds a ticket. But the entire group of engineers has bought only one ticket for a single passenger. The HR people are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant engineers will finally get what they deserve.
Suddenly one of the engineers calls out: “The conductor is coming!”. At once, all the engineers jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the HR people. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the engineers slides the single ticket under the doors and the conductor continues merrily on his round.
For the return trip the HR people decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the engineers didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the engineers announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the HR people race to a toilet and lock themselves in.
All the engineers leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last engineer enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the HR people and says: “Ticket, please!”
And the moral of the story?
HR people like to use the methods of the engineers, but they don’t really understand them.
The Third …
Once upon a time three HR people were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. But they desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first HR guy knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river! "
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times.
BUT… he was successful!
The second HR guy, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.
BUT… he was successful!
The third HR man who observed all this kneeled down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord converted the HR man into an engineer. He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.
Moral?
You have to be an engineer to think intelligent, Otherwise…
GOD HELP YOU !
Monday, May 11, 2009
Miscommunication
This is a joke I receive quite a number of times before, but since Ganesh sent it to me, might as well just share it. =)
Memo from CEO to Manager :
Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employess to view the eclipse in the parking lot. Staff should meet in the lot at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety googles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head :
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will appear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with googles. The CEO will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some information. This is something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager
The CEO will today deliver a short speech to make the s un disappear for two minutes in the form of an eclipse. This is something that cannot be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo from Floor Manager to Supervisor
Ten to eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the CEO will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, and as usual it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staff
Some staff will go to car park today to see the CEO disappear. It is a pity this doesnt happen everyday
Memo from CEO to Manager :
Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employess to view the eclipse in the parking lot. Staff should meet in the lot at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety googles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head :
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will appear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with googles. The CEO will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some information. This is something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager
The CEO will today deliver a short speech to make the s un disappear for two minutes in the form of an eclipse. This is something that cannot be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo from Floor Manager to Supervisor
Ten to eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the CEO will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, and as usual it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staff
Some staff will go to car park today to see the CEO disappear. It is a pity this doesnt happen everyday
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Swine Flu
Info shared by my boss. ^_^
Dear All,
The World Health Organisation has declared a level 4 alert for Swine Flu. It is wise to be aware of what is happening and to be prepared on how to manage it.
Please spend a few minutes of your time to read through the FAQs below, which was also available in The Star newspaper yesterday.
To recap, the Health Ministry has advised against travel to some parts of United States, Mexico and Canada which have been affected by the swine flu.
What is swine influenza?
It is a respiratory disease of pigs caused by type A strains of the influenza virus. It regularly causes high flu outbreaks in pigs but with low death rates. There are four main sub-types of the virus, but the most recent isolated influenza viruses from pigs have been H1N1 viruses.
How does it spread?
Swine flu viruses do not typically infect humans though they do occur through close proximity or contact with infected pigs or contaminated areas. Cases of human-to-human spread have been documented.
What are the symptoms?
The symptoms are similar to those of regular flu:
- Fever
- Lethargy
- Runny nose
- Cough
- Sore throat
- Lack of appetite
- Vomiting and diarrhoea in some cases.
How common is swine flu infection in humans?
In the past, reports of about one human swine flu virus infection had been received every one to two years in the United States. From December 2005 till February 2009, 12 cases have been reported.
Has this strain of flu been seen before?
No. Flu mutates constantly, so it is common for new strains to emerge. Pigs can also be infected with both human and avian influenza, and the current circulating swine flu strain appears to contain genetic elements from all three.
Can swine flu be treated with antiviral drugs and flu vaccine?
The swine flu is resistant to two common drugs – Amantadine and Rimantadine. The H1N1 swine flu viruses are very different from human H1N1 viruses. Therefore, vaccines for human seasonal flu would not provide protection. However, a “seed vaccine” has been specifically tailored to this swine flu and will be manufactured if officials deem it necessary.
Can people catch swine flu by eating pork?
No. Swine influenza viruses are not transmitted by food. Eating properly handled and cooked pork and pork products is safe. Cooking pork to an internal temperature of 70ºC and above kills the swine flu virus.
How long is someone with swine flu considered contagious?
People with swine influenza virus infection should be considered potentially contagious as long as they are symptomatic; possibly for up to seven days following the onset of the illness. Children, especially younger children, might potentially be contagious for longer periods.
What can I do to protect myself from the swine flu?
There is no vaccine available right now to protect against the swine flu.
However, you can help prevent the spread of germs that cause respiratory illnesses like influenza by:
- Covering your nose and mouth with a disposable tissue or handkerchief when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the waste basket after you use it.
- Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also helpful
- Try to avoid close contact with sick people. - If you get sick with influenza, stay at home and limit contact with others to keep from infecting them.
- Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth.
- Consult your nearest healthcare facility if you think you have any of the symptoms.
Which countries have had cases of the swine flu?
The World Health Organisation (WHO) has confirmed human cases of swine flu in Mexico, the United States, Canada and Spain. Only Mexico has reported deaths from the new strain.
Are there any travel restrictions or advisories for Malaysians?
The Health Ministry on April 27 advised Malaysians against travelling to certain places in the United States, Mexico and Canada which have been affected by the swine flu..
What precautions are in place in Malaysia?
- The Health Ministry’s operations room in Putrajaya has started a 24-hour monitoring of the situation. The public can call 03-8881 0200/300 for enquiries.
- Those returning from Latin American countries and found to have flu-like symptoms will be quarantined.
- Health Ministry officials are conducting health screenings on passengers arriving from the United States.
- Thermal scanners will be placed at international airports to speed up the screening process for swine flu.
- Public and private medical practitioners have been instructed to report to the district health office any patient with influenza-like illnesses or severe pneumonia symptoms and who had travelled to the affected countries after April 17.
- Owners of the 797 pig farms nationwide have been ordered to immediately contact the nearest Veterinary Services Department office or the Animal Disease Control Centre if their workers or animals show symptoms linked to the swine flu
Dear All,
The World Health Organisation has declared a level 4 alert for Swine Flu. It is wise to be aware of what is happening and to be prepared on how to manage it.
Please spend a few minutes of your time to read through the FAQs below, which was also available in The Star newspaper yesterday.
To recap, the Health Ministry has advised against travel to some parts of United States, Mexico and Canada which have been affected by the swine flu.
What is swine influenza?
It is a respiratory disease of pigs caused by type A strains of the influenza virus. It regularly causes high flu outbreaks in pigs but with low death rates. There are four main sub-types of the virus, but the most recent isolated influenza viruses from pigs have been H1N1 viruses.
How does it spread?
Swine flu viruses do not typically infect humans though they do occur through close proximity or contact with infected pigs or contaminated areas. Cases of human-to-human spread have been documented.
What are the symptoms?
The symptoms are similar to those of regular flu:
- Fever
- Lethargy
- Runny nose
- Cough
- Sore throat
- Lack of appetite
- Vomiting and diarrhoea in some cases.
How common is swine flu infection in humans?
In the past, reports of about one human swine flu virus infection had been received every one to two years in the United States. From December 2005 till February 2009, 12 cases have been reported.
Has this strain of flu been seen before?
No. Flu mutates constantly, so it is common for new strains to emerge. Pigs can also be infected with both human and avian influenza, and the current circulating swine flu strain appears to contain genetic elements from all three.
Can swine flu be treated with antiviral drugs and flu vaccine?
The swine flu is resistant to two common drugs – Amantadine and Rimantadine. The H1N1 swine flu viruses are very different from human H1N1 viruses. Therefore, vaccines for human seasonal flu would not provide protection. However, a “seed vaccine” has been specifically tailored to this swine flu and will be manufactured if officials deem it necessary.
Can people catch swine flu by eating pork?
No. Swine influenza viruses are not transmitted by food. Eating properly handled and cooked pork and pork products is safe. Cooking pork to an internal temperature of 70ºC and above kills the swine flu virus.
How long is someone with swine flu considered contagious?
People with swine influenza virus infection should be considered potentially contagious as long as they are symptomatic; possibly for up to seven days following the onset of the illness. Children, especially younger children, might potentially be contagious for longer periods.
What can I do to protect myself from the swine flu?
There is no vaccine available right now to protect against the swine flu.
However, you can help prevent the spread of germs that cause respiratory illnesses like influenza by:
- Covering your nose and mouth with a disposable tissue or handkerchief when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the waste basket after you use it.
- Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also helpful
- Try to avoid close contact with sick people. - If you get sick with influenza, stay at home and limit contact with others to keep from infecting them.
- Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth.
- Consult your nearest healthcare facility if you think you have any of the symptoms.
Which countries have had cases of the swine flu?
The World Health Organisation (WHO) has confirmed human cases of swine flu in Mexico, the United States, Canada and Spain. Only Mexico has reported deaths from the new strain.
Are there any travel restrictions or advisories for Malaysians?
The Health Ministry on April 27 advised Malaysians against travelling to certain places in the United States, Mexico and Canada which have been affected by the swine flu..
What precautions are in place in Malaysia?
- The Health Ministry’s operations room in Putrajaya has started a 24-hour monitoring of the situation. The public can call 03-8881 0200/300 for enquiries.
- Those returning from Latin American countries and found to have flu-like symptoms will be quarantined.
- Health Ministry officials are conducting health screenings on passengers arriving from the United States.
- Thermal scanners will be placed at international airports to speed up the screening process for swine flu.
- Public and private medical practitioners have been instructed to report to the district health office any patient with influenza-like illnesses or severe pneumonia symptoms and who had travelled to the affected countries after April 17.
- Owners of the 797 pig farms nationwide have been ordered to immediately contact the nearest Veterinary Services Department office or the Animal Disease Control Centre if their workers or animals show symptoms linked to the swine flu
Saturday, April 11, 2009
The Ant Fable
This was actually a powerpoint slide that was forwarded around and came to me from my colleague Hari.
Every day, a small ant arrives at work very early and starts work immediately.
She produces a lot and she was happy.
The Chief, a lion, was surprised to see that the ant was working without supervision.
He thought if the ant can produce so much without supervision, wouldn’t she produce even more if she had a supervisor!
So he recruited a cockroach who had extensive experience as supervisor and who was famous for writing excellent reports.
The cockroach’s first decision was to set up a clocking in attendance system.
He also needed a secretary to help him write and type his reports and …
... he recruited a spider, who managed the archives and monitored all phone calls.
The lion was delighted with the cockroach's reports and asked him to produce graphs to describe production rates and to analyse trends, so that he could use them for presentations at Board‘s meetings.
So the cockroach had to buy a new computer and a laser printer and ...
... recruited a fly to manage the IT department.
The ant, who had once been so productive and relaxed, hated this new plethora of paperwork and meetings which used up most of her time…!
The lion came to the conclusion that it was high time to nominate a person in charge of the department where the ant worked.
The position was given to the cicada, whose first decision was to buy a carpet and an ergonomic chair for his office.
The new person in charge, the cicada, also needed a computer and a personal assistant ,who he brought from his previous department, to help him prepare a Work and Budget Control Strategic Optimisation Plan …
The Department where the ant works is now a sad place, where nobody laughs anymore and everybody has become upset...
It was at that time that the cicada convinced the boss , the lion, of the absolute necessity to start a climatic study of the environment .
Having reviewed the charges for running the ant’s department , the lion found out that the production was much less than before.
So he recruited the owl , a prestigious and renowned consultant to carry out an audit and suggest solutions.
The owl spent three months in the department and came up with an enormous report , in several volumes, that concluded : “ The department is overstaffed ...”
Guess who the lion fires first?
The ant , of course, because she
“showed lack of motivation and had a negative attitude".
The end
The characters in this fable are fictitious; any resemblance toreal people or facts within the Corporation is pure coincidence…
Adapted from Portuguese by PR. Obrigado Mário.
Every day, a small ant arrives at work very early and starts work immediately.
She produces a lot and she was happy.
The Chief, a lion, was surprised to see that the ant was working without supervision.
He thought if the ant can produce so much without supervision, wouldn’t she produce even more if she had a supervisor!
So he recruited a cockroach who had extensive experience as supervisor and who was famous for writing excellent reports.
The cockroach’s first decision was to set up a clocking in attendance system.
He also needed a secretary to help him write and type his reports and …
... he recruited a spider, who managed the archives and monitored all phone calls.
The lion was delighted with the cockroach's reports and asked him to produce graphs to describe production rates and to analyse trends, so that he could use them for presentations at Board‘s meetings.
So the cockroach had to buy a new computer and a laser printer and ...
... recruited a fly to manage the IT department.
The ant, who had once been so productive and relaxed, hated this new plethora of paperwork and meetings which used up most of her time…!
The lion came to the conclusion that it was high time to nominate a person in charge of the department where the ant worked.
The position was given to the cicada, whose first decision was to buy a carpet and an ergonomic chair for his office.
The new person in charge, the cicada, also needed a computer and a personal assistant ,who he brought from his previous department, to help him prepare a Work and Budget Control Strategic Optimisation Plan …
The Department where the ant works is now a sad place, where nobody laughs anymore and everybody has become upset...
It was at that time that the cicada convinced the boss , the lion, of the absolute necessity to start a climatic study of the environment .
Having reviewed the charges for running the ant’s department , the lion found out that the production was much less than before.
So he recruited the owl , a prestigious and renowned consultant to carry out an audit and suggest solutions.
The owl spent three months in the department and came up with an enormous report , in several volumes, that concluded : “ The department is overstaffed ...”
Guess who the lion fires first?
The ant , of course, because she
“showed lack of motivation and had a negative attitude".
The end
The characters in this fable are fictitious; any resemblance toreal people or facts within the Corporation is pure coincidence…
Adapted from Portuguese by PR. Obrigado Mário.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Reptile Exhibition 07 - White Snake Eats Mice
Caution: Videos not for the faint hearted! =X
Not sure what snake is this, but he was really enjoying his meal. LOL! =X
Erm, this is the last one I have of what eat what clips from that exhibition. Hehehe! =P
Not sure what snake is this, but he was really enjoying his meal. LOL! =X
Erm, this is the last one I have of what eat what clips from that exhibition. Hehehe! =P
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